I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
