Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it was like eating out sand paper
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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