I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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