we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
