HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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