i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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