I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
