I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
