I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
