omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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