so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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