My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
