think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
