Porn is love you can see.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
