i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
false alarm. still invincible.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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