Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
