Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
