Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the day after is always just damage control
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
