I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize