Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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