This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
a search helicopter?!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
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