What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
