Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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