This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
