Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
