What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
