the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
