i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
