I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
