lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
