walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
