so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
