I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
