I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
