I cut my penus on the lid.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
