Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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