never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Randomize
