it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
