I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
