I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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