it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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