party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
