So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
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