i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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