quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
