Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
