We named our party play list daddy issues
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
