just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
