You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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