I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
