When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
